Thursday, February 24, 2005

bio crazy
Normally my work email inbox is filled with spam adverts for viagra in the morning. Today though, my friend Jacqui had sent me something which made her laugh. It made me laugh too.

Apparently she happened across a delivery van advertising it's wares on it's panel sides. This company wasn't selling anything mundane like newspapers, or even something thrilling like snowboard equipment. Nope. This place was selling France's world famous delicacy, snails. The particular niche these guys are trying to penetrate is biologically reared snails.

If these snails are reared freely in the open air, as their website advertises, how on earth are the other snails farmed?

Does it mean that for each snail on this farm that is sitting in the open air on crispy green vegetables, there are snails in other farms squashed and cramped into a little gastropod prison?

When these bio snails chat together over a nice chunk of dandelion leaf, do they extol the virtues of their new found liberty, like "Well you see you Sammy, me lad, in the olden days us snails were just a part of the system, without any freedom to slither. But now, now we can slip our sticky way across all of these here lovely lettuces. You know your uncle Sid? He crossed a whole two lettuces in one day last year!"

Absurd.

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