Monday, August 30, 2004

can somebody please slap sleeping beauty?
In the perfect happy land of make believe all the cute furry animals were scurrying across the leafy glade, their lacy bonnets tied on with pink ribbons and their tiny wicker baskets filled to the brim with freshly rustled nuts.

Nice how Disney paints such charming pictures as that above for parents to silence their kids with kids. Kids love it, my neice included. The last time I spent a weekend with her in the UK, she must have watched Sleeping Beauty literally 8 times.

Now I am not going to say there is anything wrong with this sort of entertainment per se. It's just that the last time I looked at a squirrel in a park the little rodent wasn't wearing a bonnet, or carrying a basket of nuts. It's tail in fact was as bald as my dad's head and looked like it had just been passed through an electric pencil sharpener.

The discrepancy between Disney and reality wouldn't be an issue for me if it just involved a misunderstanding of the plight of a few animals. But there are a number of girls out there stuck in the Sleeping Beauty syndrome.

This is the one where a young girl, having gluttonously gorged herself on sappy Disney happy-ever-after fairytale romances, forms an idealised picture of the type of man she wants and the type of romantic relationship they will have. The fairytales have ceased to exist as a fantasies, and have become models for relationships.

I know girls living in this pink and frilly happy world. Their fantasies play out in their heads in incredibly fine detail. They imagine the man of their dreams approaching them under moonlit skies. They imagine him chatting her up charming her with delicate phrases. They imagine the colour of the front door as they pass through it swept up in his arms into a blaze of marital nirvana.

There's only one small problem with this approach to relationships, and that is that the other person, the bloke, hasn't had a say in it.

If he wants to get involved with such a girl, the potential Prince Charming has the priviledge of forgetting his personality and ignoring any of his actual desires so that some girl can live out her life in dream land.

Naturally this doesn't work, since as soon as he has got bored with the sex and his friends have stopped conratulating him on pulling someone so fit lost the magic, his genuine personality will reassert itself either in bursts of rage or splatters of cutting cynicism.

So take my advice guys. If you ever hear a girl you're seeing utter the words 'Prince Charming' with a distant look in her eye, run a mile!

And take my advice girls. The universe is a mystery, and nothing we can ever imagine will capture it. Leave your imaginations behind and step into the unknown.



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